Recently we have had a couple of rabid foxes in the area so I have been taking the dogs out at night with a huge flashlight that lights up the whole area, while they pee I scan for wildlife, any skunks, foxes etc they dogs are told to hurry up and finish… which they do… then I bring them quickly inside. Last night it was a possum, … a mutant possum… head to tail about 3.5 feet long and about 8 inches across on the outside of the dog area. This thing was totally oblivious to our presence, it had rained hard, so lots of worms on the surface of the grass, mr or mrs possum was snacking out. I banged, shone the light, yelled, clapped my hands… nothing this thing did’nt even notice… needless to say the dogs did a quick pee/poop and came in. The night before last we had a bat in the house, I promptly caught it and released it outside.
Well this morning at 5.34am i am in dreamland… I get awakened from my sleep by a high pitched scream of ” GILLLLLLLL BATTTTTTTTTTT QUICKKKKKK BATTTTT ARGH” so half asleep, eyes hardly open I go on a bat hunt armed with a plastic cup and a paper plate, this thing is doing laps around the upstairs landing and it ain’t small either. So there I am half naked, plate and plastic cup in hand playing badminton with this damn bat and a paper plate….. yes they turn if you put a plate in front of then in their flight path. So for about 5 mins I am batting this bat hoping it will tired and land so I can cup it. Well this lil booger is flappin, and dippin, and divin, everywhere, there is me boob’s floppin in the breeze tryin to either get the bat to fly in to the cup, or land.
By this time I have and audience of Jan, who is now laughing hysterical at my badminton match, ( that is of course until this thing heads her way , which is when she screams) and about 12 of the cats all sat in a line watching this crazy human trying to take a bat out in mid flight. You could see them thinking “what the hell is she doing? gawd if we have to depend on her to hunt we will starve, thank god our food comes in a can.”
Well after 15 mins the arms are tiring, and I am sick of playing ‘Please fly into the cup or land” with mr bat so on the next flyby I bat mr bat with the paper plate, just enough to make him hit the ground, I get the cup over him, and slide the plate under the cup, … mr bat is now screeching his displeasure. I scoop him up and head outside with bat in cup…. I go out on the deck and release mr bat…. as I look up our new male neighbor is stood there with his dogs….. errrr I’m topless…… he looks at me…. I look at him…. he looks embaressed, I shout “morning Nick….. BAT” wave and go back inside.
The poor guy will be blind for the day, imagine a rather large woman with boobs flying, greeting you first thing in the morning before coffee lol .
I swear I will never sleep topless again