Ok this was different…blush….

Recently we have had a couple of rabid foxes in the area so I  have been taking the dogs out at night  with a huge flashlight that lights up the  whole area, while they pee I scan for  wildlife, any skunks, foxes etc  they dogs  are  told   to hurry up and finish… which they do… then I  bring them quickly inside. Last night it was a possum, … a mutant possum… head to tail about 3.5 feet long and about 8 inches  across on the outside of the dog area. This thing was totally oblivious to our presence, it had rained hard, so lots of worms  on the surface of the grass, mr or mrs possum was snacking  out. I banged, shone the light, yelled, clapped   my hands… nothing this thing did’nt  even notice… needless to say the dogs did a quick pee/poop and  came in. The night before last we had a bat in the house, I promptly caught it  and released it outside.

Well this morning at 5.34am  i am in dreamland… I get awakened from my sleep  by a high pitched scream of ” GILLLLLLLL  BATTTTTTTTTTT   QUICKKKKKK  BATTTTT ARGH” so  half asleep, eyes hardly open  I go  on a bat hunt armed with a plastic cup and a paper plate, this thing  is doing laps  around the upstairs landing and  it  ain’t small either.  So there  I am half naked, plate and plastic cup in hand playing badminton  with   this damn bat and a paper plate….. yes  they  turn if you put a plate in front of then  in their flight path.  So  for  about  5 mins   I am  batting  this  bat  hoping   it  will tired and  land   so I can  cup it.  Well this lil booger is flappin, and dippin, and divin, everywhere, there is  me    boob’s   floppin in the breeze tryin   to  either  get the bat to  fly in to the cup,  or land.

By this time  I have and  audience of Jan,  who is now  laughing hysterical at my badminton match, ( that is  of  course until  this  thing  heads  her  way ,  which   is  when she screams) and  about 12 of the cats  all  sat in a line   watching this crazy human  trying to  take a bat  out in   mid  flight. You could  see them  thinking  “what  the hell is  she  doing? gawd  if we have to depend   on her to hunt  we  will starve, thank  god  our food  comes in a can.”

 Well after  15 mins  the  arms  are  tiring, and   I am sick  of playing ‘Please fly into the cup  or land”  with mr bat   so   on the  next  flyby I bat   mr  bat  with  the paper  plate, just  enough to  make   him  hit the  ground,  I  get the cup over him, and slide the plate under the cup, … mr bat  is  now screeching  his displeasure. I scoop  him up  and head outside with  bat in cup…. I  go  out on the   deck  and release mr bat…. as  I look  up our new male neighbor is stood there   with his dogs….. errrr  I’m topless……  he looks  at  me….  I look at him….  he looks embaressed,   I shout   “morning Nick…..  BAT” wave  and  go back inside.

The poor guy   will be   blind for the   day, imagine a rather large  woman  with boobs  flying, greeting you first thing in the morning  before  coffee  lol .

I swear I will never sleep topless  againwhistles


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